Breach: Caleb during Divergent
by alex'hawthorn'potter
Summary: This story unveils the struggle that Caleb has when he is in the direct opposite direction of the grain. With Abnegation trying to make him into an object, Caleb feels that Erudite is the only place for his talent in knowledge. Learn how hatred can be born out of conformity and a life of rules, and how Caleb rose out of the ashes of his old life, with the help of Jeanine Matthews.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

"Caleb Prior."

I hear my name; I feel it vibrate around the room, connecting me with the crowd. With my parents. All long I felt as though I haven't ever been able to fully get to know my parents, because of the expectations of the Abnegation, of my mother and father. The tricky thing about Abnegation is that everyone is so busy trying to forget themselves, there is nothing left to focus on. You cannot focus on yourself because that would be self indulgent, and you can't focus on anyone else because there's nothing there to concentrate on, as they are busy making themselves as small as possible.

Life becomes a little pointless when you have nothing and no one to focus on, no one to talk to or to share information with you. The Abnegation live to breathe the life out of a human, producing specs that are unconsciously fighting over who can be the least selfish, who can ask so many questions that their selflessness becomes less than the other's around them. I guess that's selfish in itself. The abnegation are just one big contradiction.

My hands shake even more now. This has just made what I am about to do a little more imminent.

But I now know that I was wrong about my parents. We might not have connected in a physical, or an emotional, or a conversational level, but there is connection the Abnegation cannot break. And that is family. When me and my mother make eye contact I will always get the same feeling. When my father says my name, it will always be the name he gave me. When I see the fierce burning and bravery in Beatrice, I know she will pick dauntless because sometimes family see things in you that you cannot see yourself, especially when you can only look into the mirror every three months or so. That is family, and even after I drop my blood into this bowl, I will not loose this connection. My family will not evaporate, like water.

Then suddenly I realise that I have already walked down the steps, received the knife from Marcus, and made my way towards the bowls that I will soon drop my blood in. I will loose a part of myself to my faction. I will loose the blood handed down by my family. But soon I will loose more of my family than that.

I drag the knife across my palm, a little too much it seems, the blood begins to drip over my hand. I need to be quick, before make too much of a fuss in front of the crowd, I can already feel their eyes burning into me, like they know what I am about to do. I straight away dismiss such an Abnegation way of thinking. Maybe I won't leave my family behind the way I am currently thinking- dead to them. They will always live inside of me, I will never be able to ask questions while at the dinner table.

I walk, half leap over to where the Abnegation and Erudite bowls stand. My eyes flicker towards the pebbles on my left, then to the water on my left. I can feel their eyes on me, their heartbeat living inside mine. How could I betray them like this, how? But I have to do it, faction before blood, right? I feel a laugh brewing in the pit of my stomach, partly because of the nerves, and partly because it is ironic how my whole life I have comforted myself for the selfishness and thirst for knowledge I have had my whole life with that one line, yet now I will be using the blood my parents gave to me in order to select a faction. But that's the point; it's a reminder, a test.

I reach my hand out, more blood spilling over the sides of my cupped hands. Its time. My hand hovers over the bowl. When I see the bowl that I have reached out to, I can feel the pleasure of my parent's eyes on the back of my neck, and the sudden fury as I move my arm to the right, and drop my blood, our blood into the bowl of water.

Erudite, I am home.

The room is silent, and can almost year the drops of blood fall into the pinky water. Years later, I hear the first gasp. I know it that was. Not my father, not my mother- Beatrice. She looked as scared as I was, indicating that she will also turn away from the grey pebbles of Abnegation. But this means that her choice has become harder, and for the first time, I do not care. For the first time in my life I do not have to care about anyone else in the world but me. Not even my sister. I will not be a spec anymore; I am going to be something big. I will change this city; I will change the lives of the people living here. Perhaps I will give life to this empty Abnegation.

As I walk over to the collection of Erudite initiates, I watch my sister rub her hands on her jeans, then hear Marcus call out her name. I feel her connection as I hear it. She walks down the steps, grabs the knife and makes a small cut on her hand. I suddenly feel a sharp sting in my hand, from where I made the cut too deep. Perhaps I could give my sister this one moment before I begin to act selfishly… she stands in the middle of the grey pebbles and the burning coals. I get a pang of doubt. Maybe I was wrong about her. Maybe she isn't brave enough for Dauntless. Is she going to choose Abnegation because I chose Erudite, so she isn't strong enough to leave our parents? I feel a tiny bit of guilt before dismissing it. I could get used to this.

Her hand hangs in the air, edging towards Abnegation. Just as I lost all hope that I had enough knowledge of my sister, I see her face falter, and her arms moves left. She tips the blood from her hand, and it sizzles on the coals. She looks surprised, but relieved. I was right. She was dauntless. Now that the burden of leaving my parents is on both mine and my sister's shoulders, I muster the courage to look at my mother and father. My mother seems happy, relaxed, almost oblivious, but my father is broken, and tears well up in his eyes. He looks at neither of us. I was right about my sister and right when I suspected my father would react badly. Yes I have chosen Erudite, but I still know more about my family than they know themselves.

That is why I belong here. Erudite will now also be my family.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

As we walk out of the abnegation building, we come out onto yet more concrete buildings; Houses. Just two blocks away from my home. I feel a twinge of guilt. My _old _home, I correct myself suddenly, suppressing the feeling like vomit when I remember what that faction tried to do to me. It tried to wear me down into a shell, no substance or personality. But I don't live there anymore, this is my home now. However, I am the only abnegation transfer in this crowd, so I get a few strange looks over gold-trimmed glasses. But nothing that concerns me because my head is buzzing from the recent events. I feel adrenaline pumping from my pancreas around my body, or is it the hunger for knowledge rising inside of me again?

We walk very calmly, I take an educated guess that we will be filling into silver vans and hurtling towards where I will soon be spending the rest of my life, on the other side of the city, in Erudite. It finally settles in. I feel free. _Where I will soon be spending the rest of my life, on the other side of the city, in Erudite. _I repeat it over and over in my head, letting the calming remedy it provides work into my long under worked mind. I am ready to be who I was born to be. I am going to change everything, no one should have lived like I had to for all of these years, believing that I was never good enough, that is was failed as a human being because every now and again I would read through a textbook. Well now I can read as much as I want.

I think the main reason for why I feel a need for knowledge is because of my own suppressed life. When I opened a book, listened to some fascinating news about the simulation serum, I feel as though I can escape my dull, boring life to become someone who is worthy of that knowledge, who can take the heavy responsibility of knowing so much about the world around them. Knowledge doesn't make you selfish, it makes you human.

We must have been walking for at least five minutes by now, and there is still no sign of a vehicle to take us to Erudite head quarters. I feel apprehensive about asking someone what is going on, but I decide that it would be wise, and perhaps I may even have the first shot at making some bonds with other human beings, ones that I can have a five minute conversation with before I have to hold back the urge to force a book down their throat.

I look around the people that walk to the same unknown destination. I decide to ask a girl that walks directly in front of me. She has blonde, straight hair pulled back into a knot, like Tris. Trying to ignore the stabbing pain that runs through my middle, I decide to tap on her shoulder. It takes her a few seconds to turn around, but when she does my head feels like it's about to explode. My eyes sting with tears as the shock sends shudders through my body. _It can't be, it's not._ There is Tris, staring back at me like she doesn't know me. I can hardly breathe. _It isn't her, or is it? _I blink again and suddenly I realise it is not Tris, but a snobby, olive-skinned girl with deep, black eyes. No, it isn't Tris, I'm just a bit shaken up, and I comfort myself.

"I'm very sorry," I say, breathless, "I guess I'm a bit shaken up from all of this." She rolls her eyes and slightly nods her head, half turning back around. "I was just wondering where we were going, if you possibly knew anything about it?"

She considers this for a while, then replies, "you don't know?" she laughs a little, a snorty, nasal laugh, "it's not far from here. We're going to the fence."

"Why would we be going to the fence, were Erudite? that's Dauntless' job" I retort quickly, trying to keep my shaking voice from wavering any more.

She again rolls her eyes, then replies, "were all required to know about the city and it's boundaries. it's a standard protocol for all Erudite, Ever since Jeanine Matthews was elected leader of this faction." She turns away fully before I can ask her any more questions.

Less than three minutes ago, I was beginning to feel as though I had finally found myself a new home. Now, I am not so sure. I have failed at trying to make my first connection I have in my entire life, and being Erudite seems to be a lot different to what I thought it would be. Why was that Erudite-born so snobby? I hope I am wrong, but it seems as though Knowledge is making these people greedy, feeding their ever-growing appetite for facts. The Abnegation in me wriggles with discomfort, yet the Erudite in me burns with fierce pleasure that I am around people the same as me; I can finally let myself be as selfish, or as selfless as I want.

But i can still not find a logically justifiable reason for why we would even need to go near the fence. why would we need to know about the city and it's borders, when we can't step outside them anyway? half of me craves the knowledge that is undoubtedly coming my way, and half of we wants to run a mile away from the fence, back to my home where my mom and dad are probably devastated by my absence.

And then i smile.


End file.
